How to bring up tough subjects with leadership without hurting feelings?
Roadblocks
Discussion items
Time
Item
Who
Notes
HOW TO BRING UP TOUGH SUBJECTS WITH LEADERSHIP WITHOUT HURTING FEELINGS?
Tony:
Assume intent is good
Use I statements
Be open to dialogue
Those are the 3 keys to a good dialogue and make sure ppl don’t feel attacked. Be respectful.
Always be willing to have the tough conversations with leadership, bc that’s what leadership is there for
Respect boundaries without taking things personally
Once you start having these discussions it becomes easier over time – practice
Kacy:
Is tough giving feedback to big groups so start off with smaller groups
Heather:
Always best to speak from direct personal experience & acknowledge when you’re not
Using specific examples
Have an open mind, when the topic is something sensitive that the person/group feels like they can’t share
Approach topics with curiosity
Patrick:
If I’m the roadblock (as leadership) it might be tough to hear that feedback
We all want the same outcome
Important as leadership to not take it personal > know that a person does not mean to be rude and disrespectful and might come across as passion
Talk to this person 1:1
Trusting one another
ROADBLOCKS
Training delayed
Expectations: Were told that us getting training was a good idea – researched – identified various trainings
Reality: No funding – train the trainer model was recommend – requested one on one training from any of the lead fellows – were told to take the Implicit Bias training – Took PM Lite in UC Learning – we are being scrutinized in our goals & our plans because we need PM guidance but we were denied the opportunity to take PM training
Getting stats/information/demographics
Expectations: getting baseline data to track change and success
Reality: No help from the VC office - no return on the Return to Work/Employee Satisfaction Survey – No luck with HR – No luck with Central HR – Got the round around from everyone – pointing us back to Davyda - Were told to align with Pierre's Accountability Report (Inclusive Excellence Committee)
Survey
Expectations: Gather baseline data on our own
Reality: Are we allowed to ask for this data? - We can't just put up the survey – bias/leading questions -
EDI Page
Expectations: Have a page were we can route people to – post it in Blink or the IPPS website – access to our mission/vision statement/objectives/goals
Reality: content scrutinized - no location to post the content, even in the meantime.
Access to CLT
Expectations: open dialogue between EDI and CLT
Reality: questioned why we needed to attend meetings, scheduled meetings between EDI and LEAD fellows instead
Exit Interviews
Expectations: requested to be a part of/ participate (aligns with our strategy)
Reality: questioned why EDI had to be involved- scheduled another LEAD fellows meeting to discuss why we needed to participate - questioned our goals/strategy
Overall Issues:
Being told we can "make this what we want" "don't need to run this by us", but this not being true
Requesting assistance, but getting advice on other topics not relevant to what we inquired about
Feeling like there is no trust in us to make this committee truly ours
Our frustration is being read as tension and that discourages discussion > need for this meeting
Is leadership ready for change? Is leadership ready to be scrutinized without taking it personally?
NEED: we don't need an explanation for why things did not go that way originally. We would like help with how to move past the roadblocks and accomplish what we need.
Reflections on Roadblock discussions
HV wants to clarify that CLT is not concerned that the committee has not done anything
Kacy: Intention is different than impact
Important to build trust as a group and work through them in an honest way
Regular cadence to meeting as LEAD FELLOWS to discuss roadblocks
Establish a cadence for meeting with CLT
Heather:
Does not understand why we are so adamant about posting on Blink
Understands now with more context
Ted:
Observation that we are at an amazing spot to have an EDI committee
We have more LEAD follows than any other place in the university > shame that we are not working together
It’s pretty clear that we are not working together
There is no trust in the relationship between our two groups and build relationship to accomplish the common purpose
This trust and relationship will allow us to be mad and communicate our frustrations
Being respectful and kind does not mean not being truthful
Once we can work together we can capitalize our skills and strenghts
Tony:
Intent of LEAD Fellows is not to be a roadblock > so these feelings need to be worked through
Feel vulnerable with each other to be able to believe someone is being honest and acknowledge we are “wrong” or “right”
Action items
Establish reoccurring meeting between LEADS and EDI to establish trust and build a working relationship
Establish reoccurring meeting for EDI to join CLT meetings
Add Comment